Weirdest Twilight Arrangement
by VeLvEt ToPaZ
Summary: And ever, till pieces of body parts in fire draw you apart?" Emmett finished. “Uh, what?” said Bella."Yes, I DO!" " Er... do what?" “Shut up and ask Rosalie!” M rated for language only. One-shot. Review!


**Alright, so, this just a crazy creation of the game " continue the story" my friend and I played a couple of days ago. I thought to share it with you all as an apology for not updating my other story, I've run out ideas for the story. So sorry. Might hand it over to someone who wants to continue it. Anyways, ENJOY!**

It was her third marriage today. She looked fondly at her bride. Though this was a little flaw in this perfect day, she said nothing as she tried to look seriously at the minister, Emmett. She failed and let out a giggle... The minister chuckled and gave her a wink

She gave a serious cough, and Minister Emmett begun the ceremony.

Emmett cleared his throat and said: " Welcome to the union of Isabella Swan and Rosalie Hale. (Another cough) We gather here in this holy moly -"

"HOLY MATRIMONY" someone hissed.

"Ok, holy matrimo_ney_, to see this two beautiful gals united as one. Now, let's start our vowels, shall we?"

"VOWS, idiot!" Jasper sighed.

"Oh, right, VOWS then. Will you, Isabella Swan, agreed to care Rosalie Hale, forever and ever, and ever, and ever.................and ever………."

(2 hours later)

"Stop it, Grizzly Bear!" a kid screamed.

"_And_ ever, till pieces of body parts in fire draw you apart?" Emmett finished.

"Uh, what?" said Bella.

"JUST SAY YES!!!" the minister yelled.

"NO!!!" Bella yelled indignantly.

"YES!'' said Rosalie.

"WHAT?" both of them chorused with the rest of the church, including the minister.

"WHY???" Emmett wailed.

"THIS IS OUR WEDDING, DUMBO!!!" Rosalie screeched.

"Oh, really? YES I DO!!!" Emmett yelled, smiled in a relieved kind of way.

" What???" said Bella. " Rosie, sweetie??? Are you marrying him?''

" Bella was suppose to say yes, Em... not you..." sighed Jasper tiredly.

"Really?"

The crowd groaned. "GET ON EM!!"

"Quit yelling, people... you are confusing my brain here!!! And it ain't funny!!!" Emmett yelled.

" It is , actually" interjected a velvet voice." Your thoughts are working sooo hard to catch up"

"SHUT UP! Edward.!"

"GET ON WITH MY WEDDING!!!" Bella and Rose yelled.

"Okie, okie... women" Emmett muttered.

" so nasty... Note to self : never get married to women, that are sooo,"

"EDWARD!!! you are not supposed to say my thoughts out loud! Those are my private thoughts, man!!!" snarled Emmett.

" Not to me! SOOOOOOO what Em?" taunted Edward.

"CONTINUE, please!!!" Jane whispered loudly.

"Okay. Now, Isabella Swan-"

"Yes, I DO!!!"

" Er... do what?"

"Shut up and ask Rosalie!"

"FINE!!! ROSALIE –"

"I DO!!!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"Finally..". the crowd sighed.

"Ok, I declare you gu- sorry-gals, me-, I mean,- woman and woman!!! So there it's done!!! You happy???"

"Not particularly... Where's the KISSING part???" said Bella.

"I wanna kiss my wife, Emm" moaned Rosalie.

"Oh yea!!!! Ok!!! Sooooo go on at eat at each others face... see if I care!" yelled Emmett.

Bella grabbed Rose's waist and they kissed passionately, falling over the floor, something ripped.

"Bella!!! You ruined my dress!" Alice whimpered

"I did not!!!"

"Oh, who cares!" Emmett muttered

"WE DO!!!!!!!!!" the women and women growled

"Where's my lunch?" Charlie yelled.

"I am hungwy!!" Rennesme whined.

"Shut up, Reneesme" snarled Emmett.

"Don't you dare snarl at my daughter, Emmett!!" Edward hissed.

(In the midst of sound of sucking, ripping, gasping…)

"Oh, get out, people!!! Who needs to eat!!! Leave us in our fantasy!!!" Rosalie commanded.

"Wow, FREE PORN!!!" yelled Emmett. "Where's my camera? Where's my Video? You tube sooo needs to see this!!!"

"Cool!! I wanna be on the Tube!!" cried Rose.

"But _Rosie_!!!" Bella whined. "I thought your body was for me and me only!!"

"I want to get famous Bella, come on, PLEASE!!!"

"Hey get on with it!" urged Emmett, his face full of delight.

"ALL Right! Watch all you want! I don't care!" Determinedly, Bella tore open Rose's dress and started…

"AWWW!!!" Emmett is bouncing up and down, holding a camera.

Edward shook his head, " Em, no one will ever see what's it is if you keep jumping!!! Dumb ass!!!"

"Really? Cool!!!"

Exasperated, Edward went to the wall and started bashing his head repeatedly.

"Why? -Are? -You? - SO? - Stupid???" Edward asked the wall.

(The wall started to crack...)

BOOM!!!

"WOW!!! You have a hard head!" said Emmett, amused.

"Look, sun!!!"

"SPARKLE! SPARKLE!" a baby cooed.

"Who knew Edward liked body glitter sooo much?"Mike asked.

"He's beautiful!!" all the women sighed.

"Daddy! Don't expose yourself!!! You'll melt!!!" cried Renesmee worriedly.

"No, I won't Renesmee. C'mon, we should leave. Your mum and aunt has utterly disgraced us. Let's find something to console ourselves."

"Ice cream!!!!" cried Renesmee excitedly.

You don't eat food, Reneesme" Edward chastised.

"Na-uh! Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"Edward, stop being baby!!! If your gal wanna ice-cream then let her have it!!!" chastised Emmett

"FINE!!! SHUT UP EM!"

"For Lord's sake.... you are a billionaire you can afford some ice cream." Emmett shook his head.

"You are such an imbecile."

"Whatever."

"Let's go get ice cream." Edward took hold of Renesmee's hand. Suddenly, he stopped.

"But I wanted a blood flavoured lollipop!!!" Reneesme whined.

"ICE CREAM!!!" Edward corrected.

"I scream, you scream, we scream for ICE CREAM!!!" Emmett chanted.

"WE ARE NOT SCREAMING!!!!" Edward screamed.

"YES YOU ARE!!!!"

"FUCK YOU!!!"

"But they are the one fucking," protested Emmett, pointed to the lovebirds on the floor.

"NO CUSSING in my fucking house!!!" yelled Bella." Get OUT!!!"

"Hey, is the video on youtube, yet" Rose added.

"Ace!" Emmett reported. " 10000000 viewers and 3000000 commenters!

"We're FAMOUS, Bells!!! We're fucking famous!!!" Rose cheered.

"FAMOUS AMOS!!!!" Reneesme whined."I want the cookies"

"WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT RENEESME???"

The whole household started their requests:

"I want blood flavoured lollies!!!"

"I want cookies!!!"

"I want ice cream!!!"

"I want my lunch!!!"

"I didn't ask you old man!!!!" said Edward

"Go 'way. Freaks! Me want spend time with my poor Bells!!!" Alice demanded.

**Review! Even if you hate it! Please!!! **


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